Are promises meant to be broken?

SINGYEE
OCTOBEReleven 91
CVMB Clarinetist, Secretary 06
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Friday, May 25, 2007

everything also wrong.. correct also let your say till wrong.. whatever we do also wrong.. wrong become more wrong.. i voice out in the end got scolded, got a slap.. sometimes, i really wonder is this our family.. kept quiet also my fault.. voice out also at fault, everything the children are at fault.. yahs, don't care about us anymore.. as if you ever care for us before.. give us up.. when did you ever pin your hopes on us.. what have you got to give us up.. yeahs, this whole thing can prove that i'm right from the beginning.. you've finally said out what you exactly feel and this only shows how much you exactly understand us.. gou tong.. have you ever tried.. jiang bu tong de.. he bi yao jiang.. ni you gen wo men jiang guo ma? NEVER. have you tried to understand us? you NEVER. do you exactly know what are we thinking about? NO. you gou tong with us? you said this, but i can't find any reason to agree with you.. when is the last time you ever speak to us? i don't remember.. it's like years ago.. when we were in primary sch.. sometimes i think i don't even know how does your voice sounds like.. we are just after your money.. are we? we're gonecase.. are we? so that's how you see us.. how you think of us.. shi, wo men mei you yong.. wo men she me dou bu shi.. you said we don't even care.. don't even know mum's birthday.. don't even remember.. do you know how i wanted to plan smth? and i know brother care abu it too.. but we can't.. we don't even dare to do so.. i don't even feel that this is a family.. since years ago, this family seems to be gone.. everyone went out in the morning to work, study.. came back, you don't talk, you don't speak.. you behaves as if you were deaf.. you only start scolding when we scored badly for exams.. when have you ever care when we were so stressed up? when have you ever shown us your concern.. we studied, but scored badly.. and you would just say, we don't treat examinations seriously.. we didn't even study at all.. you said you don't know how to control us anymore.. don't even know how to communicate with us anymore.. have you tried? you didn't even talked to us before, and yet you can say wo yi jing fang qi ta men le.. fang qi.. ni you gei wo men xi wang guo ma ? wo men zai ni yan li, shi me duo bu zhi.. wo men yi wen bu zhi.. wei she me ? have you ever thought of the reasons behind all these.. do you think there's any children in this world who doesn't want a proper family? who doesn't want a family who cares for each other.. a family who can communicate with each other.. a family who knows and understands each other? a close family? we are just like strangers.. it gave me the feeling that i don't even know you.. do you know why you are a tiger to us? have you ever thought of that.. you said you changed alot.. in fact, you have become worst.. you can shut for a WHOLE day.. or in fact, for MANY days.. once you opened your mouth, what is it that came out? like how you scolded krystal tdy.. do you think you were right? i think that you were ultimatly WRONG. i just sat there, kept quiet, and witnessed the whole situation.. what has she done? yes, she's irritaing.. but, she's like that.. she's a special child.. don't you know that.. how many years has she been with us.. i think you clearly know her condition.. and you just hit her so hard, pull her so hard.. and threw her things out? she cried, she cuddle herself tgt, she screamed at you.. that's a normal reaction for everyone.. and in return, you hit her, you scold her, you scream back at her.. does she deserve this? NO. she's not your child okay ! i looked at what you did, i can only think of child abuse.. and that's how you always treat us.. can you please put yourself into your children's shoes and think.. if it's you, would you like it? you asked mummy not to care about us, give us up.. but mummy said, we're her children.. both of your children.. your mum gave you so much patience last time too.. and you said you don't need to give us any patience.. we need to do all things, understand everything in life ourselves.. how are we supposed to know? did you insert some kind of memory card into out brain to let us know? you said if we have any thing we should tell you automatically, we should approach you automatically.. but, the way you behave alr scare us away years ago.. how are we going to share with you.. seriously, i don't even dare to talk to you.. and i think so does brother.. why do you have to give us such impression of you.. why do you have to tell you that you aren't a good father.. you always think you are right.. even when mummy told you you are wrng, but you will still make youself right.. and children are always the victims.. when we were right, parents will always say till they were right.. if we ever tell them they were wrong.. they will still make themselves right.. and we, ending up getting more scoldings, more naggings, more bad things.. when we were wrong, we will still be wrong.. and things will be made so kua zhang to the extend that we didn't even do that.. and in the end, in every case, we are still wrong.. i just defended myself by telling mum that whatever she said was wrong.. ended up? haha. now you added in to say how bad your children were.. are we just born into this world to let you chu qi? whatever you've said tdy, i will never forget.. and this is how you hurt your children.. now both of you are quarrelling.. although i don't know what both of you are talking about, i side mum.. zhe ge yao zhuo na ge yao zhuo, zhe ge yao guan na ge yao guan.. you don't want to zhuo, you don't want to guan.. why in the first place made our exsistance? whatever you said to mum, i think you hurt her alot too.. my brain's exploding and i cried so hard infront of mum.. i'm wondering when can your ever get to know all these things, how we felt, how we think? i doubt there will ever be this day..
do you know that i asked myself before, am i your child?
i always love shows when they have a happy family, good relationships, lovely couples.. xin fu de jia ting.. how much i envy my friends when they mentioned about their families....

you are missed, at 10:47 PM